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Letting Go

January is a good month for resolutions.

It is like turning a page and glorying in the pristine whiteness. No blotches or erasures. No coffee stains. No ragged corners. A brand new start.

Every year I make resolutions to go to the gym more, watch my diet, be kinder to the people around me.

Every year I get about a 50% success rate. In case you are not aware, that is a fail. Not a total fail I reassure myself, but not my best effort.

I want to control my life and fill it with rainbows, glitter, and unicorns, but inevitably reality intrudes. Friends die or get sick, projects get derailed, misunderstandings happen, and life turns into a hot mess with short intervals of sanity and serenity.

I am greedy. I want life to sail gracefully down the stream, and when it doesn't, I feel deprived and a little miffed (a nicer word than angry but not as accurate). So I embark on new programs or plans guaranteed to improve my body, my mind, my attitude.

I just read about a combination of hypnosis and meditation that can trim down your figure and even grow out your hair (if that's a problem for you). Heaven knows Facebook is full of "Fix Your Life" ads. The problem is, they don't work.

As an adult, one of the hardest things I am having to learn is letting go. Saying goodbye to good friends forever. Stopping bad habits. Letting go of anger and learning to forgive.

When it all becomes too much, I like to read the quote above. In my experience, when I leave my problems to God, He will always find a solution. It may not be as fast as I would like, and it is almost never the way I'd do it, but my prayers are answered if I let go of the pen and let God write my story.

I hasten to add that I haven't quite mastered that yet either but I have a brand new year to try again.

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